Why Seeking Sex Therapy Near You Could Improve Your Relationship
Going to see a sex therapist can help you improve sexual, physical and emotional intimacy in your relationship. It can be difficult to bring up sexual concerns directly due to the stigma that is often associated with sexuality, and especially sexual problems, in our society. Finding a professional who is trained in sex therapy can help you feel more comfortable disclosing sexual concerns and addressing them in your relationship.
What is Sex Therapy?
So what is sex therapy and how is it different from traditional therapy? Sex therapy is traditional talk therapy in the sense that a therapist is trained to help you manage your concerns and find solutions through talking. There is no sexual touch involved in sex therapy. A sex therapist in MN will be a Licensed Mental Health Professional with additional training in sex therapy. During the initial intake process, a mental health history, a sexual history, a social history and relationship history will be gathered along with your hopes and goals for therapy. A sex therapist can help you determine what mental health and relational dynamics might be impacting the sexual concern you are seeking therapy for. A good sex therapist will also encourage you to rule out any physical concerns that might be impacting sexual functioning through working with a Medical Doctor, Nurse Practitioner or wholistic physical health practitioner trained to treat sexual functioning.
A sex therapist will have experience and training in discussing sexual concerns. This training and experience helps them to create a judgement free environment for you to open up about any sex related concerns that are impacting your relationship. Sex therapists work with couples and individuals, but all sex therapists should have training in working with couples in sex therapy. It is important to find a sex therapist who understands how relationship dynamics can influence sexual functioning. The therapist you choose should also be affirming of all sexual identities, gender identities and sexual preferences. In other words, look for a sex positive, kink aware, LGBTQI+ affirming and ethical non-monogamy competent licensed therapist. Finding a therapist who is a member of ASSECT or an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist can help you feel confident that you have found someone with advanced training and an ethical commitment to all of these areas.
What Happens in Sex Therapy?
What happens in sex therapy is that you have someone trained to guide you through unpacking the things that are blocking you from experiencing the sexual and emotional intimacy that you crave. Emotional intimacy is connected to sexual intimacy, and vice versa. Sex therapy for couples teaches couples new ways of communicating, both verbally and physically, so that they feel more connected. A sex therapist will help you identify unhelpful patterns of communication, both inside and outside the bedroom, that are blocking you from cultivating deeper intimacy in your relationship.
In my work as a sex therapist in Minneapolis, when I am working with couples I also meet privately with each individual. This gives me a chance to better understand how the problems in the relationship, personal trauma history and individual physical, mental and emotional concerns are impacting the relationship. I find that couples appreciate the time to unpack these really difficult issues with me privately and how to discuss how to address them in couples therapy in the most effective way.
Just like other talk therapists, sex therapists offer both online sex therapy and in person sex therapy. In my experience, both are effective. It is really a matter of preference for the client. Online therapy can offer flexibility in scheduling, while in person therapy can sometimes offer a higher level of privacy and less distractions. I do recommend that couples using the online sex therapy option try to meet in the same location as each other. This helps with practicing communication techniques during session as well as increasing the chances that couples will have time to connect with each other after the session.
What Do You Gain From Sex Therapy?
Over the time you work with a sex therapist you will gain confidence in addressing sexual concerns in your relationship. You will be given both in session and out of session assignments that help you practice the things you are learning. Learning these new skills will lead to greater confidence in being able to address concerns in your relationship once therapy has ended. Relationships change over time. Our bodies change. Our sexual desires and fantasies can change. The way we receive emotional support changes over time. Cultivating communication skills that help you talk with each other about these changes in a way that brings you closer together is an insurance policy for the health of your relationship.
You will also gain an increased comfortability with experiencing your own sexual pleasure. This can be one of the most empowering benefits of working with a sex therapist. We have often been raised in environments and with messages that do not support embracing our sexual power and pleasure. Sex therapy can help you learn how to embrace your sexuality and your partner’s so that you can feel more confident in yourself and your relationships.
What if I am Already in Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy should always address the couples sexual relationship. If you are in couples therapy right now and sexuality isn’t being addressed, ask your therapist why that is. If they are not comfortable addressing sexual concerns, ask them for a referral to someone who is. Sexual health is an important part of overall wellbeing and an essential part of our relationships. You and your relationship deserve a therapy setting that recognizes this.
You can also try talking with your partner about it outside of therapy. Ask them questions about what they are hoping to get out of therapy. How do they feel the therapy is going? Are they comfortable talking about sex with your current therapist? Reflect on if you’re comfortable talking to your current therapist about sexual concerns. Opening the lines of communication about the progress of therapy can greatly improve positive outcomes of therapy.
Going to see a sex therapist can help you improve sexual, physical and emotional intimacy in your relationship. It can be difficult to bring up sexual concerns directly due to the stigma that is often associated with sexuality, and especially sexual problems, in our society. Finding a professional who is trained in sex therapy can help you feel more comfortable disclosing sexual concerns and addressing them in your relationship.