Human beings are wired to be in a relationship with one another. We are born with the need for human connection and human touch. As we grow, we develop skills that keep us in a safe connection with the people around us. Sometimes, the skills we developed to keep us connected, stop being effective. This can have a detrimental effect on our adult relationships. Relationship therapy can help us understand the ineffective communication and relational patterns we’ve developed, and provide us with new skills to change our patterns and create the intimate adult relationships we want. 

Communication and understanding are the bedrock of healthy relationships. Both monogamous and consensually non-monogamous relationships depend on strong communication. In successful relationships, couples know how to communicate their needs and desires in kind, respectful and honest ways. This doesn’t mean that conflict doesn’t arise. On the contrary, conflict in a relationship is healthy! Conflict and discussion are how we come to a shared understanding of each other and our relationship. Conflict in healthy relationships creates space for each individual to share their thoughts and feelings and to be acknowledged and valued by their partner, even if they might not agree. Healthy communication is absent of name-calling, condescending or blaming comments, emotional stonewalling, or threats to end the relationship. Instead, couples who build loving and intimate relationships create a culture of appreciation, offer gentle yet direct feedback, openly share their emotional worlds with one another and demonstrate a commitment to the work it takes to keep a relationship healthy. 

Navigating difficulties that come into relationships can be challenging. Intimate connection with another human being can bring incredible joy and security, but the cost of betrayal and unhealthy conflict can also bring us devastating pain. Challenges such as escalated conflict, infidelity, blending families, parenting, sexual concerns can feel unsurmountable. A therapist specially trained in relationship therapy can help. 

Fulfilling relationships take effort to create and maintain. Research shows that the benefits of healthy relationships in our lives are numerous. Whether you are working together with a partner to create a stronger relationship, or working on your own to increase your relationship skills, a therapist trained in systemic, relationship therapy can help. Check out our therapist page to learn more about the therapists at Resilient Intimacy. Explore our list of suggested books and resources to start learning how to improve your relationships today!

Recommended Book

ACT with Love

Russ Harris, MD

Recommended Book

Wired for Love

Stan Takin, PsyD

Recommended Book

Rock the Boat

Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW

Recommended Book

The New Rules of Marriage

Terry Real

Recommended Book

Eight Dates

John and Julie Gottman and Doug and Rachel Abrams 

Recommended Book:
Navigating Infidelity

The State of Affairs

Esther Perel

Recommended Book:
Navigating Infidelity

Not “Just Friend”

Shirley P. Glass, PhD

Recommended Book:
Exploring Open Relationships

Opening Up

Tristan Taormino

Recommended Book:
Exploring Open Relationships

Polysecure

Jessica Fern 

What is sex therapy? Sex therapy is talk therapy that addresses a variety of sexual concerns. A sex therapist will be comfortable talking about all things that have to do with human sexuality. Difficulty achieving orgasm, pain during intercourse, desire discrepancy in relationships, difficulty achieving or maintaining erections, exploration of sexual preferences, kink, BDSM, sexually transmitted infections, reproductive issues, sexual identity exploration, gender identity exploration, and pleasure enhancement skills are all things a sex therapist can help with. 

Sex therapy includes a great deal of sex education. We often didn’t have access to adequate sex education growing up. School-based sex education often offers only fear-based, reproductive-focused sex education. Sex therapy will focus more on pleasure, relationships, and emotions in the sexual experience.

Sex therapists are not medical doctors, but they know how to ask questions about possible medical conditions. If you are having physical concerns related to sexuality, a sex therapist can refer you to a medical professional to help you get the care you need. Sex therapists often work with pelvic floor therapists, OBGYN doctors, gynecologists, and primary care doctors. 

Sex can come with a lot of baggage due to past relationship wounds, messages we receive that our sexuality is shameful, and experiences of sexual violence. At Resilient Intimacy, our therapists meet you where you are in your journey on exploring your sexuality. 

Sex therapy creates a space for discussion about topics that are not always openly discussed in our society. At Resilient Intimacy, you will find an environment that values and embraces your right to a full and pleasurable sexual life.

Recommended Book

Come As You Are (Book)
Come As You Are Workbook

Emily Nogaski

Recommended Book

Mating in Captivity

Esther Perel

Recommended Book

When Survivors Give Birth

Penny Simkin, PT, and Phyllis Klaus, CSW, MFT

Recommended Book

The Deep Yes: The Lost Art of True Receiving

Dr. Rosalyn Dischiavo

Recommended Book

Coping with Erectile Dysfunction

Michael E. Metz, PhD and Barry W. McCarthy, PhD

Recommended Book

When Sex Hurts

Andrew Glodstien, MD, Caroline Pukall, PhD and Irwin Goldstein MD

Recommended Book

The Vagina Bible

Jen Gunter, MD

Recommended Book

Healing Sex

Staci Haines

Traumatic experiences leave an imprint on our minds and bodies. This imprint needs to be integrated into our understanding of our world and ourselves so that we can move freely in our lives without the burden of the past intruding into our daily life and relationships. These intrusive symptoms have been labeled as Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD). Trauma and PTSD therapy can help you heal and grow.

Intrusive trauma symptoms cause present moment responses in our bodies. Our bodies are wired to attune to danger and respond in a way that keeps us safe. When the neurological connections that form the traumatic memory are not linked to our present-day experience of safety, our body responds as if it is currently under threat. These responses may include a racing heartbeat, racing thoughts, digestive issues, muscle tightness, and headaches. We also may experience difficulty forming and maintaining relationships, difficulty sleeping, nightmares, and hyper-vigilance. EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing)  therapy is one type of therapy that can help alleviate these symptoms. EMDR helps to integrate traumatic memories and heal your body and mind. 

You are not what happened to you. Whether you come to therapy to heal from childhood abuse, sexual violence, combat stress, and PTSD, first responder PTSD, gun violence, or any traumatic event, you will be treated as a whole person. We understand that you have a rich and complicated life story. We will work with you to untangle the trauma from the present. 

Recommended Book

The Body Keeps The Score

Bessel van der Kolk M.D.

Recommended Book

Waking the Tiger Peter Levine

Peter Levine

Recommended Book

When Survivors Give Birth

Penny Simkin, PT, and Phyllis Klaus, CSW, MFT

Recommended Book

My Grandmother’s Hand

Resmaa Menakem