What is Sex Therapy
What is sex therapy?
As an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, this is a question I get asked frequently. Many of us were taught not to talk openly about sex in general, so it makes sense that most of us never learned what sex therapy is! In short, sex therapy is talk therapy that helps couples and individuals address sexual concerns including sexual anxiety, performance anxiety, low sex drive, desire discrepancy in couples, difficulty with orgasm, erectile dysfunction, pain during intercourse, and many other sexual concerns.
Sex therapy is a lot like other forms of therapy. Your therapist will ask about the concerns that brought you to therapy, the history of the problem and your goals for therapy. They will also gather a sexual history including masturbation and partnered sex, sexual preferences, gender and sexual identity and inquire about any physical or medical considerations. You never have to disclose anything you aren’t comfortable with, but the more information your sex therapist has the more able they will be to help you.
You don’t have to worry about what you disclose to a sex therapist. We are trained to be open and non-judgemental. We are so used to talking about sex that topics which seem out of bounds in other therapy settings are common place in sex therapy. BDSM, kink, porn and non-monogamy are welcome and encouraged topics for exploration in sex therapy. Sex therapy should be a place where you feel open discussing your sexual preferences, relationship preferences, sexual identity and gender identity.
Sexual concerns often become a relational concern. Sexual intimacy with a romantic partner is an important part of feeling emotionally connected and joyful in your relationship. For many couples, when sexual concerns enter a relationship it becomes a huge cloud that can follow them around. Couples often avoid the topic entirely due to all the complicated feelings that go along with sex. When the problems do come up, it can often lead to hurt feelings and negative conflict patterns. A sex therapist will ask questions about how any sexual concerns are impacting your relationship and help you and your partner talk openly and honestly about sex in ways that lead to connection rather than arguments and hurt feelings.
A well trained sex therapist will have advanced training in relationship therapy to help address the communication patterns, emotional responses and behavioral reactions that underpin sexual concerns in your relationship. Seeking help from a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, ASSECT Certified sex therapist or professional training in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples or Gottman Couples Therapy can help ensure that your therapist has the relationship therapy training you need.